Have you ever watched something that really affected you? So much so that you cant bear to watch it or think about it because it really struck a chord with you?
So my partners brother recently recommended I watch Vikings. You might have heard about it, its a historical drama about the Viking King Ragnar Lothbrook and his conquers. This is sounding weird already (that I got so emotionally affected).
I don’t know if it was because of the emotional state I am in right now or whether I just don’t agree with male morals but I found this show really addictive but hard to watch.
Ragnar has the most beautiful, amazing, strong wife that holds her own. She is fierce. When Ragnar rises to become Earl, he is sent of a mission for the Viking king with his young son, Bjorn and along the way meets Princess Aslaug (the name really makes me hate her even more). Bjorn catches them having sex and tells his father he hates him and he must never sleep with her again. It is during this time his daughter Gaia, dies from the plague. Ragnar promises him he wont and keeps true, that is, until she announces she is pregnant with his baby. Upon his return home, Lagethar (his wife), asks about Aslaug, and he promises never to see her again which satisfies Lagethar.
Then suddenly out of nowhere comes princess Aslaug and her band of women, cradling her baby bump. He actually asks Lagethar if he can keep her has his second wife. Poor Lagethar leaves him, knowing she could never share him. And that’s it. he tells her he doesn’t want her to leave he wants both says no, and he lets her go. he then goes home and kisses Aslaug and it skips to 4 years later and they have 2 sons and another on the way.
How can you do that to your wife, whom you love???? This made me so upset (see? i must be emotionally cracked!!). I had really like Ragnar up until this point. If you’ve seen the show, youll see that Lagethar moves on and is very diplomatic about the sitch, raiding with him and even has a threesome with Ragnar and his side hoe (that’s how I feel) Aslaug.
I feel so bad for her, and I put myself in her shoes and I tell you now, I would never be so diplomatic about it, knowing my husband was off impregnating other women while our daughter dies and than having the hide to ask me to accept her. Nuh uh.
This affected me so much, and I’m sure ill understand why soon, but perhaps it has to do with the double standard of men. if the situation was reversed, surely things wouldn’t have ended so diplomatically?
Men have this way of getting away with things that we women, cannot. I don’t know why, but its obviously been ingrained in society for so long that it is the norm.
It got me looking at my partners behaviour too. In the last week, ive watched him walk out of the house without telling me where he is going numerous times and without an explanation when he gets home and if i probe, its none of my business i am told.
However, if i walked out the door and left him with the kids for hours on end and didn’t explain where i was, I would be accused of doing something behind his back, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. “Mens business” they call it. and they do it without guilt of leaving you by yourself with your tiny destructo humans, because they feel entitled.
Recently I enquired about a job that will require me to work nights, but pays really good money. this way i don’t need the kids in childcare as much and we can save that money.
The first thing Scruffy Daddy says “that means I cant do anything i want, no, you need to work days”. Ah, excuse me? I told him to shove it. And to top it off, when i told my MIL about the job, the first thing she asked was ” oh so Scruffy Daddy approves of this?” No joke, I straight up said “I don’t need his approval. Its money. Its a job. Its not his decision”. to which she raised her eyebrows and looked away. She is well trained by my FIL.
Another instance of how men are perceived to have a sense of entitlement is making all the major decision in the household. When it comes to my kids, i am their primary carer and most decisions relating to them are made by me. Since Miss 4 will be attending Kindy next year (i am very emotional about this), I have put a lot of thinking into where she will attend, and i decided she will be going to a school further away from home purely because it can provide after-school care, and this means we can work, and then pick her up from there, no buses.
So at the beach, MIL and I are discussing Miss 4 ‘s best friend who is a year older but will be attending school next year with her in Kindy. I explained which school she will be going to and the reasons why. A few hours later, we are having lunch with scruffy daddy and she pipes up and asks scruffy daddy where he would prefer Miss 4 to attend school. I looked at her and thought to myself “are you fucking kidding me? I just told you the decision has been made”. To my surprise, scruffy daddy shut her down and told her it was none of his business and he had left that for me to decide. Well that shut her up. but it made me so angry that she thinks that a) we don’t discuss things b)that HE gets to make all the decisions and c) that she acts like she has a say in the matter.
She thinks he has to be the head honcho, because that’s what happened in her day. and the times before hers.
So it brings me back to Ragnar and Lagethar. The Vikings are a very old civilisation and even then and many more years before them, women had no status. You shape up or ship out if you don’t like it. And it has continued into our society today. And it sucks.
The Queen of England is a goddamn woman and I bet Prince Philip gets the last say about it all because he is a male and they are entitled.
I feel for my daughter, and I hope she finds some new age man who treats her like an equal.
All this from a stupid show. ahhh